"" Rob Parnell's Writing Academy Blog: How to Get What You Want: Relax

Thursday, August 13, 2009

How to Get What You Want: Relax

Are you struggling to achieve your dreams?

Does it seem as if your perfect life is elusive?

Does you feel you're never going to get what you want?

If so, it could be you're missing something important.

Here are some tips on how to create your perfect life by adjusting your inner perspective.

You're Never Too Busy to Relax

When we're stressed and caught up in the complexities of living our daily lives, it can seem as though there's never enough time to do everything.

We're always chasing our tails, beating ourselves up over jobs not completed or done badly or tasks - like writing - that get squeezed out of our schedules.

If you're like this, you have to stop. Literally.

You must find time - half an hour to an hour every day, to unwind and get some perspective.

I call it 'strategizing time' or more simply, 'time to meditate'.

Meditation is not about assuming a lotus position and contemplating the universe in your navel. No, it's about deliberately relaxing your body and mind to help you better deal with life and everything it throws at you.

Feel stressed? Dissatisfied? Overwhelmed? Angry?

These feelings are illusions created by your unwillingness to relax and see things as they really are.

Taking half an hour out of each day to relax properly will help you see that there is always enough time to do what is important. The trouble is that if you don't meditate, you end up filling your time with the unimportant things that perpetuate a life you probably don't want.

You'll find that the more you purposefully relax, more time will actually appear - as if by magic - to help ease your situation.

NB: Watching TV is Not Relaxing

You might say to me: But I do take time out every day to watch TV or go to a movie or have dinner with friends. Sorry. This is not the same as spending a short time each day with your thoughts.

The object of relaxing is to clear your mind, remove the clutter and find some inner peace. This needs silence and alone time.

You need the space in your mind that relaxing creates - to assess your motivations and come up with a clear strategy for the future.

Believe me, you really do need to take time out every day to do this. Because this is how you get what you want - in the short and long term.

You need to get in touch with the 'inner you' every day.

It's too easy not to - and to completely lose sight of who you are, what you want, and where you're going to end up. And where's that going to be? To quote one of my favorite songs. "And then one day you'll find, ten years have gone behind you. No-one told you when to run. You missed the starting gun."

Wasting time is built into our DNA. It must be. We're so good at it.

Take back control - not by doing more, but by doing less, by deliberately relaxing.

How to Relax Properly

1. Find a space to call your own. If you don't have one, make one.

A small room would be ideal. If you can't manage that, then a corner of a bedroom would do. Maybe even the bathroom.

You need somewhere you won't be disturbed. Somewhere relaxing. Before I had a nice home, I sought out libraries, quiet bars and even secluded park benches. You MUST find somewhere you can return to - that you associate with letting go and finding inner peace.

2. Spend the first five minutes doing absolutely nothing.

Sit and stare into space. Try to quieten the thoughts in your mind. If something concerns you, put it aside, push it away. Make your mind go as blank as you can.

If you have difficulty with this, try gazing at the sky or a flower or a flame, anything that focuses your mind on peace. If there is noise, let it flood over you and tell yourself that you find the noise relaxing and that it does not trouble you.

3. Close your eyes and think about your breathing.

Focus your mind on the way the air you breathe comes in and out of your nose. Imagine that with each breath you are pulling in goodness and light and with each exhalation you are letting go of darkness, stress and worry.

Count down from ten to one and between each number, order yourself to relax, unwind, feel peace and become content.

4. Let your mind wander.

Often people misunderstand meditation. They think that if their thoughts are still chaotic, then they can't be doing it right. This is not the case.

The human mind is always thinking. You can't stop it. But, here's the thing, you can guide it when you're relaxing.

Remind yourself that, in the context of our vast universe, nothing is really that important. Nothing really matters as much as we might like to believe. We are mere tiny specks in the middle of an infinite cosmos.

Curiously, it is the revelation of this fact that ultimately gives us power.

5. Ask Yourself Honest Questions

As you contemplate the enormity of the Universe, and your part in it, let your mind seek answers to questions. Ask your subconscious mind for guidance over the issues that concern you.

Make it your intention to receive guidance from the Universe -or God, if you prefer - and commit to acting on that advice. Ask for solutions - and be thankful to receive them.

In your mind, discuss ideas with yourself, calmly, rationally and with patience. You have all the time in these moments that you need. Five minutes in this mental state is the equivalent of months of internal debate - and far more effective.

6. Make Affirmations

Remind yourself of your talents and abilities. Be positive. Be optimistic and know that wisdom comes from acceptance. And only when you accept your current reality can you begin to change it.

Imagine a bright future and yourself in it. See the world you can create and watch how you act in it, how you think in that place. Examine how a perfect you in a perfect future would make decisions based on success, joy and abundance.

Don't worry about how to achieve your goals. See them as attained and imagine how that feels. Even if just for a few fleeting moments, be the fabulous person you wish to become - and know what it feels like to be that person.

7. Come Back Down to Earth

Whenever you feel comfortable, at peace and most likely, happy, open your eyes and for another five minutes, do nothing.

Stare into space and take an untroubled look at the world around you. See the beauty and simplicity of the mundane. Breathe softly and believe in the power that is in natural harmony.

Know that being content is the secret to success.

Because being content opens your mind to possibility and gives you the strength to pursue your goals and dreams.

Hard work will often get you somewhere you don't want to go.

But being able to truly relax - and see things in perspective - will take you further towards your perfect future than any amount of hard work and stress.

Learn to unwind first.

Then take on the world anew.

Once a day, every day.

Till next time,

Keep Writing!

Your Success is My Concern

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