You Gotta Face The Fact: Only You Can Save You!

 

Here is something I hear from my students all the time:

If I only had such and such, or so and so, then everything would be fine.

Listen. No one is coming to rescue you. No one out there will save you. 

There is no magical event that can change your circumstance or make you more successful. YOU are the only person who is responsible for your current state of being and YOU are the only person who can change that state and improve on it.

In fact you can worsen your current state simply by believing that someone or something out there can, might, or will rescue you. That's faulty logic that you may have arrived at by using what psychologists call magical thinking.  

You have to accept responsibility for your circumstance and acknowledge that if you don't like where you are and you hate what's happening to you, you MUST do something about it - take action, and do it NOW!

The fact is that having faith in a magical solution will only take you further into madness.

The first rule of self-help is: you got yourself into this mess.

The first time I heard this piece of news I was horrified. And not a little offended. At the time I was so poor and depressed that I could never accept any kind of responsibility for my predicament. How could I possibly believe I had made myself poor? That I had an awful job because I had chosen it? That I had a horrible existence because I had picked that life?

But it seems obvious now. Of course I had chosen all of those things. There was no one else to blame but myself.

It’s a hugely tough lesson to learn but one that is necessary to accept before you can move on. And you do have to accept it. You can't keep believing that only other people and fantasy events and mystical personalities can help you because then you will never learn for yourself.  

Be smart. Get in charge of your life.

We are here to gain knowledge. Superstition is a transitional state that feeds us before enlightenment kicks in. Wisdom is based on logical empiricism. But clearly not for everyone. No matter how convincing the evidence, many people prefer the dark uncertainty of believing in the supernatural rather than the reassuring chaos of real life.

Religion makes perfect sense as a facet of evolution.

Back in time, as soon as we became self-aware, our brains began to sift through the incoming data and sort information into categories. The logical and obvious was accepted as such. Anything we didn’t understand went into the “supernatural” basket. Fine, it’s what we do.

The change comes when we attach “agency” or purpose to the supernatural. When we start to believe something or someone is causing mystery and coincidence, then that may become a problem.

Some of us still do it. I’ve known many people who ascribe supernatural agency to life in the pursuit of trying to make sense of everything. They see ghosts, daemons, spiritual beings, and gods with complex personalities and characteristics that are endlessly embellished into convoluted fantasy worlds reliant on increasingly bizarre thinking.

When we were living in caves without food or warmth, relying on the vagaries of nature to sustain us and reassure each other, it made perfect sense to assign chance and certain inanimate objects with supernatural agency, power, and force. As a result we ended up living in a world where impulse and irrationality replaced science, all in the pursuit of safety, a haven from the mystery and darkness and a fear of the unknown.

Having a deity and an agreed structure to superstition - that is, the definition of religion - gives hope to the righteous, and those who cannot grasp that ignorance and lack of control does not mean weakness.

It’s okay to believe in God if you have to but thinking He’s going to actually do anything for you goes against logic, dogma, and common sense.

We naturally seek meaning and purpose in chaos. It’s how our minds work. We look for order in chance events because this gives us a sense of control. But control is another aspect of ego. And ego is another side of vanity. Accepting we might have no control is not a bad thing. Indeed, it can be liberating, and is certainly not to be feared.

We tend to anthropomorphize everything. We see humanity and our motivations in everything around us, rightly or wrongly, we seek to understand and control reality, to quash uncertainty. Especially when our self-esteem and/or our confidence is low.

But we are fine when we don’t know what will happen.

We must assume that we are always in control of ourselves, our actions, and reactions.

If we want something to happen, it’s perfectly okay to believe that we can make that thing happen ourselves, without any need for a god, or a savior, an angel investor, or a rich benefactor, a literary manager or even a publisher - or any other perceived superior being that we think we need to make sense of our destiny.

Get a grip. Accept reality.

You only need you to save yourself.

Keep Writing!

Rob Parnell’s Writing Academy

Fixing The Novel

Last couple of days I’ve been trying to fix the end of a novel I’ve been working on. I’m tired and frustrated because I keep thinking everything will repair itself by magic. Trouble is, I know in my heart that’s not going to happen and I’m getting depressed knowing that I will have to approach the ending with a lot more focus and concentration.

The whole thing is silly because I know that’s all I have to do: FOCUS, but I can’t bring myself to work properly and I guess it’s out of fear. Partly fear of knowing I’m almost at the end, therefore the wonder of creation will soon stop. But also fear of the amount of work I’ll have to put in to make the ending work well.

Sometimes this just happens. Pleasure becomes work and you just have to grit your teeth and get on with the graft. (It’s what a lot of us have to do every day from 9 to 5.)

It’s annoying because I’ve enjoyed writing all of the chapters up to this point. About 70,000 words have been fun. But now I realize that the ending won’t work unless I add/edit/rewrite about 10,000 words, make sure everything is in the right order and all the character arcs are resolved.

So this is what I’ve decided to do:

Two things.

ONE. Character Arcs.

I have made a list of all the principal characters and written a one sentence description of how their story completes at the ending of the book. There are about a dozen character arcs I need to resolve in this last section. Daunting enough but at least it’s something to be getting on with and I’m not tearing my hair out and sobbing because I can’t think of anything else to do.

TWO. Plotting Again

I have lots of short sections at the end that I knew I would have to return to and sort out. Some of the events are in the wrong order and some linking scenes are not there at all at the moment. I’ve decided the best way forward with the last three or four chapters is to number the sequences and, on a separate sheet, reorder the paragraphs into the most logical flow. That way I can see what I have and also, what I don’t have.

All I need now is to choose a time when I can raise the necessary enthusiasm to do these two activities. That’s the sticking point.

Because the other problem I have is what I call “fiction fatigue”. Basically I’ve had enough. Getting to grips with the end of the story yesterday afternoon for instance, I kept falling asleep and when that wasn’t happening I had a niggling sense that reading back what I already had was simply too hard.

I’ve spent probably four or five months writing this story - not including the years of misfires before this point - and really, I want it to be over. But I can’t be bothered to work on it - even though I know that if I don’t I may put it down and not touch it again for another age. Neither of which I want. Catch 22: I want to finish the story but I don’t want to do the work to make that happen!

I’m sure all of this sounds petty and stupid, especially to a non writer who would likely be thinking, What’s the problem, ya big pussy, stop complaining, and get on with it!

And I probably will.

Soon.

I just wanted to write this piece first so that when a similar circumstance happens to you, you will know you’re not alone. It’s all part of the process.

Over the years - and the novels - I’ve discovered this point comes every time. There is always a period during which the novel is nearly done but there are niggling things to do, subplots to tidy up, scenes to link, characters to develop or delete. To be honest it’s my least favorite time and leaves a sour taste in my mouth at the end of every novel I complete.

Trouble is, unless I push through this process, this story is never going to see the light of day and get read.

I’m starting to believe that the writing process is something wonderful to begin and that allowing your stories to develop and become real is the fun part. But that ending, tidying and polishing is the nasty part. The work part.

Ah well, the sooner I get to grips with the ending the better.

I want the finale of the novel to be satisfying and make sense and I can’t do that until the story lives up to my own nitpicky standards. I have to be sure the resolutions are all logical and smart. I’m sure I’ll get there.

By the way, the novel is a thriller called HERESY. So, if you see it on sale soon you’ll know I got past this angst and completed the book to my satisfaction.

If you don’t see the book anywhere or I never mention it again, it’s probably in my bottom drawer.

Thanks for reading, And wish me luck.

Keep Writing!

Rob Parnell’s Writing Academy

Comin' Round The Bend

 

If writers are not owed a living, how the heck do we survive?

Following on from last week’s newsletter when I mentioned the WGA writers’ strike, Bill Maher summed up the issues by proclaiming that screen and TV writers shouldn’t expect a guaranteed income. He said that the nature of the industry was so hit and miss that nobody who makes entertainment shows should feel secure.

Trouble is - and I can vouch for this personally - TV and movie producers use this attitude to screw writers, all the time. They make them write on spec, for nothing, for as long as possible, letting you know you have no power or influence over a project until the very last second, until they realize the project can go no further without your enthusiastic involvement.

That’s the free market, Bill says. That’s how it works. The actors and tech people are on the same deal. When you want to work in the arts, you have to accept that living a life of uncertainty and potential poverty is the trade-off for success, if and when it comes.

Basically the system is unfair but it keeps out the wannabes, the people with no talent, and those who aren’t committed enough to stay the course.

I understand the theory and to some extent the arguments but seeing as the digital entertainment industry is one of the fastest growing employment sectors on the planet, it might be time to consider a change in attitudes towards artists in general.

Of course everyone is concerned about AI. Will the film industry start using machines to make movies? The answer is simple. That ship has sailed. The music, movie, video game, and publishing industries have been using machines, robots, and AI for the last twenty years. Everything we do is already controlled and run by our electronic overlords and we, the people, are probably the last to realize the extent.

So it makes perfect sense to me that writers want to get paid, and would like their futures to be protected.

Curiously, when we study the strike, we discover it’s not the studios that are the problem. They’re happy to pay writers. Of course they are.
Because they know writers are, and always will be, essential, even when we use AI as virtual assistants.

No, it’s the streaming services that don’t want to cough up. They want to profit from playing the films and TV shows but they don’t like having to guarantee paying the creators of all that product.

Same with companies like Amazon and Spotify. These monoliths are constantly trying to pay fewer royalties to artists, writers, and creators - and they certainly don’t want to be tied to agreements when the future is so uncertain.

Think about it this way.

We’re creating a world where everything is synthetic.

Digital media rules, and it makes a lot of money. But it’s totally ephemeral. No books and movies and music actually exist anymore. It’s all computer code that’s used to generate the livings of the hundreds of thousands of people who create media content. If we lost the power to generate electricity, our world would be nothing but a heaving mass of humanity and little to show for itself: a planet that is basically a blue ball in space supporting nearly eight billion people with not enough resources to go around.

We live in a Fake World.

Fake music, fake shows, fake artists, fake images, fake words, and of course the thing that started it all, fake news.

Trouble is, and the robots were the first to understand this, we like it.

Digital media homogenizes everything: art, creativity, all digital content is just cash generating fodder.

But when did art become mere product?

When WE became the robots.

That’s the sad thing. We’re worried about AI and machines taking over but the fact is we are the robots. Have been since social media began following our every click in the name of marketing and sales. Online we’re followed, analyzed, and quantified. Our every thought is predicted.

Offline, everything beeps and we respond. From crossing the road to boiling the kettle our daily lives are programmed. The supermarkets use our loyalty cards to learn the food we eat. Cable companies track what we watch. Employers report on us. Banks and finance companies monitor our earnings and our spending. Cameras in malls and on our streets follow us. Governments collate and restrict our movements, use tax and benefits to cripple us. Our health is undermined for the sake of profit. We are no longer free or independent. Haven’t been for decades.

And basically, it’s our own fault. Our lives are too predictable. Ask Facebook and Google for confirmation. They know how and when we will react, to the last split second. Our actions and reactions are known to the machines, down to the food we eat, the way we spend our time, the people we meet, all of our needs and wants and desires. The robots already know what we have, why we have it, and what we can’t live without.

We are already slaves in a world where the computers are in control. They give us what we need, even before we know we need it. When we show an interest in products, goods, holidays, hobbies, whatever, the system will hound us 24/7 with news, marketing, and updates on all of those things.

The system follows us, tempts us, exploits us in a relentless pursuit of cash, with no thought to whether we can afford the items, the lifestyle, or the consequences of the purchases we can’t afford.

We live in a hedonistic world of credit card debt, mortgaged beyond our means, always owing more than we’ll ever earn.

So yes, if writers are to be part of the system, this brave new world, we should damn well get paid to feed the machine.

Keep Writing!

Rob Parnell’s Writing Academy

Zen and The Art of Writing

 

Life is about experimenting, finding out what works for you, what doesn’t, and eventually discovering what makes you happy. 

That’s my theory anyway.

Many people get trapped in a rut where they think life is about achieving material success. This is often counter-productive, because you will only become happy if you choose the path that is right for you.

From the moment we start writing, we’re on a quest to discover what works for us, how to best express ourselves, how words work for us and how we want them to work for our readers. We aspire to gain proficiency, an objective viewpoint, and we sharpen our ability to control our talent, art, and craft. In short, we constantly strive to make ourselves better artists.

Given the world we live in, this is not always a smooth journey.

During my younger days I did a lot of meditating. Ostensibly to calm myself during times of stress. And believe me, did I experience a lot of stress when I was younger!

From horrible jobs, terrible bosses, bitter disappointments, unhelpful partners and alcohol habits to support. During my most stressful times, I used to take time out to visualize my perfect life and to reinforce attitudes that I believed would be useful. Like knowing I didn’t need drugs or alcohol to cope, and believing that the color green was calming and therapeutic. At the time, meditation seemed to make little difference to my life but somehow, over a couple of decades, all the things I taught myself during meditation have come into my life as realities.

Nowadays, I can see and hear myself living the affirmations I made back then. I now have the life I was trying so hard to summon. Twenty years later, okay sure, but I got there! Through perseverance and sticking to my goals, even through the tough times.

I envy people who are talented but who also possess smarts and the social skills to benefit from their talent. Me, I was always shy and probably destined to be a quiet writer, shunning people and social situations. I never really liked networking, making friends with the right people. What do Americans call it? Social awkwardness. Yes, that sounds right. An aversion to talking, meeting, even being with others. It could be a curse but actually I found it liberating, once I understood how to embrace and profit from the need to be alone.

That’s the trick. Learn to embrace your flaws and use them instead of hating yourself for not being perfect. When you truly understand yourself, you’re better equipped to make decisions that will bring you happiness.

There’s nothing wrong with getting older. It’s a gift that keeps on giving.

Sure, the past may come back to haunt you. Whether you like it or not, scenes from your youth will pop into your head and you will see them anew. Little things that made no sense at the time can be recalled with sometimes terrifying clarity. Suddenly you can see through other people’s eyes. Situations become clearer, motivations more obvious.

And you can use these new perspectives to your advantage. Writers especially can use these insights in their writing.  

For instance, knowing you can start afresh is enormously liberating. It’s like permission to repair the past, to remake yourself and your work.

Similarly, knowing you can break things down, re-prioritize and re-evaluate how things are working, these are all wonderfully helpful tools to help restore your enthusiasm for old projects that didn’t seem to work.  

Use your changing perspective for the good. When we age, we like routines that keep our mind and body stable. Use that stability to your advantage. Keep a level head every day. Then there’s no fear and no rush. There’s plenty of time to get things finished.

The illusion that we have to get everything done immediately is not helpful. Only the very young believe we have to do everything immediately before the idea, or the initial excitement, wears off. Trust that you have the time.  

Of course, security - physical, mental and financial - is important. If your life is in constant turmoil, try meditation to smooth out the edges. Remind yourself that everything is fine. Problems tend to come from other people. Remove them from your life if necessary.

Like investing money in the future, think long term: take your time, relax and stop beating yourself up about not being perfect or lacking inspiration. Be a plodder. Allow yourself to live in the moment. Be present for your writing. Treat each sentence, each paragraph, each chapter with equal care and respect. Let every word shine.

People often complement me for having the perfect life but what they don’t realize is that I have constructed my days through a long process of eliminating what I don’t like, what doesn’t work for me. That doesn’t mean I don’t like doing the mundane stuff like cooking, housework, and chopping wood. I do all those things because they serve the greater purpose. My activities enable me to work more effectively.

So many students complain to me that their lives don’t help them write. Either because they’re surrounded by people who don’t encourage them or because their jobs exhaust them. Others say they’re always ill or prone to emergencies that get in the way. I have deliberately removed those distractions from my life. For my sanity.

Motivation is a gift but it comes from eliminating obstacles and being able to live without pain and suffering. You need to work on what really makes you happy, remove all those bad influences and simply focus on your creativity.

Then you’ll be living the dream.

And your writing will soar.

Till next week,

Keep Writing!

Rob Parnell’s Writing Academy