How To Be Happy

 

Gasp! The year is almost over and then we’re on to a new one. Maybe this time we can get things done, achieve our goals and succeed in the areas we failed in the past…

    Yeah, all that.

Seriously? Now, I don’t wanna burst your balloon but life is not always about achievement. It’s also about feeling content with ourselves, doing good and, gosh darn it, being happy.

Honestly, this compulsive need to complete goals and see tasks through to the end is surely what causes most of the stress in our lives.  

Sometimes I think we should simply reject our quest for instant
gratification and hyper stimulation. But what can we do to be calm and in control, positive, and, most of all, consistently creative?

Personally, first thing I do when I need to be happy is to write my 500 words for the day. More is good but 500 is fine. Just enough to make me feel useful and fulfilled.

Here are some other ways to keep up your happiness quotient:

Go for a walk in nature. This is a big one for me. Connecting with the natural world never fails to make me feel better. There’s something wonderful about the simple rhythm of walking and breathing in fresh air, thinking light thoughts, and just enjoying being outside. Especially if you’re surrounded by greenery - a state that is proven to have an efficacious effect on your body and mind.

Apparently nature is beneficial and calming because our inherited memory associates lush natural abundance with comfort, safety, and stability.

Studies show that people who live in a natural environment are generally less stressed and have more creative energy.

If you’re stuck in town, find a park or an empty seat away from traffic. Maybe in a cemetery or church grounds. Find peaceful places in your local area, they’re good for you.

Find water, running or otherwise. Watching and listening to water is restful, refreshing and acts like gentle music to our souls.

Find anywhere peaceful to calm your mind, to smooth away your frayed nerves. If you can’t find anywhere around you, try to create a special place in your home. In your  garden, or in a safe room perhaps, even just a spot on the end of the bed. Making this space - and ensuring it’s perfect for you - is often just as happiness inducing as using it.

To me, any creative endeavor is calming and likely to bring joy.

Sing, paint, write, sculpt, knit, always create.

I know many people regard sport and other vigorous activity as calming and energizing. Sometimes it can be. It’s not my cup of tea but do that if it works for you.  

Try little things too. Make an unselfish gesture, like helping someone or complimenting them and expecting nothing in return.

If you’re depressed or struggling to feel good, make a short list of positives. Start with just one item to feel good about then move up to five or ten. I guess the trick is to feel grateful. Even just one positive is enough to be going along with.

Try meditating. Close your eyes, relax and count down from ten to one, calm your mind, slow your breathing. Learn to associate stillness with happiness, carelessness with freedom.

I learned this little trick from a book once: If you want to induce instant joy, tap the center of your chest lightly. Yes, that’s right. Gently tap your breastbone about a dozen times. For some weird reason this will make you smile. If you don’t believe me, just try it.

Obviously, reading a book should make you feel better because it’s a way of switching your brain off from destructive self-talk. For a while you can allow another author’s voice to become your own.

Try going out and deliberately leaving your phone behind. The dopamine rush you get from social media is fun, sure, but it’s also addictive and ultimately unsettling, causing you to experience restlessness and irritation. For short periods try going without the internet.  See time away as fasting from the overabundance of inputs. I mean really, nobody actually needs all that petty stimulation, like you’re some kind of baby that wants constant distraction.

Find stillness. Breathe. Slow your heart.

Daydream a better future. Think aimless thoughts. Have no agenda. Relax. Take it easy. Don’t get so involved in other people’s meaningless drama.    

And don’t define yourself by your work. We are all so much more than what we do. I blame the Industrial Revolution. Around the eighteenth century we began to equate repetitive activity with worth. Usually some one else’s wealth at that. But to define ourselves by some fat cat corporation’s agenda is just wrong.

Yes, you should be busy and productive but for yourself. Making someone else rich and successful is not a great recipe for personal mental health. Because you’re wasting your time, giving away your soul for a few shillings in your pocket. Experience tells us that money doesn't really buy anything but more stress. Like the way giving children more toys makes them anxious, and eventually impossible to handle.

We need to give in to nothing. Encourage our brains, through stillness, to understand that nothing is the most important thing. Only when we need nothing and realize that nothing will help us, can we begin to appreciate the joy and majesty of life.

All very Zen, right?

Keep Writing!

Rob Parnell’s Writing Academy