Rob Parnell's Writing Academy Blog

Sometimes I wish there were clones of me. Then I could get everything done. One clone to write my novels. One clone to publish everyone's books. Another to submit short stories and screenplays. Another to do the housework and the gardening. And another to be a family man, focusing on looking after children instead of trying to be a creative dynamo. But then I think, what if the clones decided they wanted to be real me? What if they started fighting, warring over my personality. What if one decided to kill all the others? There I go again. Starting with an idea that becomes the germ of a story. Because probably what would happen would be that the extra clones would simply come up with more ideas, more ways to fill my time - and then each clone would need his own team of clones and pretty soon, I'd have an army of Robs to contend with. They'd all need feeding and would have to pay their way. And what would Robyn think? Which would be the real me - and how could she tell... Ap...

Writing is a long term vocation. You may have to keep reminding yourself of this. Especially when you want everything - money, writing projects, publishing success - to go faster. Do you ever feel like this? I do. I read a guy's blog this week where he talked about burn-out. He was so determined to get a novel finished he wrote 16 hours a day for about three weeks. He said that suddenly he couldn't make out the words on the screen. He was looking at a foreign language and he realized his brain had shut down. The experience frightened him so much that he stopped writing and suffered a long period - over six months - of angst over what had happened. For a long time he was too afraid to start writing again for fear that his mind would play this trick on him again. Luckily that's not happened to me yet. Sounds awful. The worst thing that happened one year was that I got one of those humps on my right wrist - apparently they're caused by hitting the keyboard too hard. It too...

It's funny. Last week I was nervous about putting out a blog that was so down on the publishing industry. Little did I expect so many emails agreeing with me! And literally three days later, comes an article from the Wall Street Journal (no less) that basically said the same things. Fact is most insiders agree that the publishing industry is in trouble. Their inability to spot bestsellers - indeed to spot anything that may even become commercial - is now causing them problems. The heavy reliance on promoting TV and film related books means that ordinary authors suffer. Marketing budgets that might have gone to their 'list' authors is now being funneled into blockbusters - and little else. The main reason would seem to be that publishers' B list authors simply can't sell enough books to support these corporate giants. Far be it from me to suggest that perhaps publishers 'choose the wrong books' - I think it's more to do with the fundamentally unwieldy nat...

It's hard enough to actually get the words on paper - but after that you have to do the self promotion thing. That's when you find out that, rather than the world clamoring to read you work, you're just one of thousands upon tens of thousands of writers in exactly the same place. Writing a book used to be the goal - that many splendorous achievement that marked you out as special. Now? Join the queue. Getting publishers interested in your book is - and always was I guess - a total uphill struggle. But it's getting worse. The whole publishing industry seems set up to say 'no', before you've even had time to pitch your idea, hone your proposal or edit down your synopsis. Publishers explain they already have a huge back catalogue of work they have yet to publish, that, really, they don't need to see your manuscript, even before they know what it's about. But then you read that traditional publishing is on the way out anyway. Kindle i...

One of the most enduring of fictional characters would have to be Sherlock Holmes. So much so that many London tourists are surprised - and sometimes upset - to learn that, despite the master detective's fame and influence (and his real address at 221b Baker Street), Holmes is the imaginary creation of writer Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. What's fascinating about Sherlock Holmes is that he's almost too incredible to be believed. He's a drug addict (morphine - the forerunner of heroin - wasn't illegal in those days), he's a terrible musician, he has a knowledge of poisons that is almost alarming, and his deductive skills are nothing less than superhuman. ASIDE: From this brief description you can see why the character would easily appeal to actor Robert Downey Jr! In many ways Holmes is the first modern superhero - complete with costume and cloak. I think what humanizes him is that he's only ever presented through the eyes of his sidekick Watson - whose regard and ...